Curious about prostate play? Prostate stimulation paves the way for stronger and more intense orgasms for men. So why aren’t more guys interested? There are two reasons they hesitate to pursue this sexual experience. First, the prostate can be a little tricky to find if you don’t have good directions. Second, the best way to reach the prostate is through the backdoor, which scares off many men from even trying to find it. That’s unfortunate because teasing the prostate can be extremely enjoyable. If you’d like to treat your guy to a prostate massage, keep reading for our tips on getting him interested and making it a sexy, safe experience for both of you.
What is Prostate Play?
Prostate play includes any and all forms of prostate stimulation. That could mean massaging the prostate externally through the perineum. Massaging the prostate internally with a finger or sex toy are other forms of prostate play. This direct stimulation is often more stimulating and satisfying. At the most advanced levels, prostate play can include anal sex as well as strap-on sex.
Regardless of how you go about it, prostate play has a singular purpose: intense, mind-blowing stimulation. Adam & Eve's sexpert Dr. Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT and CST, said "The male version of the G-Spot, the prostate, can deliver amazingly strong and intense orgasms." Prostate orgasms are typically much more powerful than regular ones, produce bigger loads, and last longer. Prostate play can even make some men climax without ever touching their penis. This sexual stimulation of the prostate is commonly known as prostate milking.
Selling Prostate Play
Your biggest challenge isn’t finding the prostate or even teasing it. It’s talking your guy into trying prostate play! There are a lot of social taboos about heterosexual males engaging in any form of anal play. While many guys realize just how dated those beliefs are, they’re still not completely comfortable with it. If you want to work his prostate, you’ll need to win him over. Emphasize how prostate play can enhance his pleasure by making his orgasm feel stronger and last longer. Maybe promise to do something special for him later if he’ll let you try this. You might also win him over by playing up the kinky aspect of prostate stimulation. In the words of Dr. Jenni, "Sometimes the taboo is exactly what makes it the forbidden fruit of ultimate sexiness."
How to Prepare for Prostate Stimulation
- Ask him to wash up. Cleanliness is next to sexiness. Get your guy to use the bathroom and tell him to wipe thoroughly afterwards. Next, he should wash in and around his backdoor with warm, soapy water until it’s squeaky clean. Or you could do the washing for him as part of foreplay.
- Use foreplay to loosen up. Make sure he's turned on – either by watching your favorite adult movie or by performing oral sex on him. Arousal makes it much easier to find the prostate. Once he’s ready to go, get in a comfortable and relaxed position that allows you to easily access his backdoor.
- Add a generous amount of anal lube. Apply lube in and around his backdoor and to your finger as well. When it comes to anal play, there’s no such thing as too much lube! Rub the lube around his backdoor to make sure it’s completely coated – the last thing you need is a dry patch make finding the prostate even harder.
How to Find the Prostate
While rubbing the lube around, start pressing gently around the backdoor while working your way steadily inward. This relaxes his anal sphincter, which makes it much easier to find the prostate. Once he’s ready, slowly insert your finger. Check in with him about how it feels so far. If he's scared or just not comfortable with continuing, there's nothing wrong with stopping. Prostate stimulation can wait until he’s ready to go all the way.
The prostate’s located about two inches inside the backdoor. Once your finger’s deep enough, curl it slightly upward with the fingertip pointing toward his belly like you’re making a “come over here” gesture. Then start gently exploring. The prostate feels like a walnut-shaped bump toward the belly. Most guys jerk slightly or even shudder when you start stimulating the prostate. If your man’s less expressive or doesn’t shock easily, you’ll have to trust him to tell you when he feels it.
Gently stroke your fingertip up, down, and all over the prostate while trying to find what form of prostate stimulation works best. It's important to vary your motion as well as pressure to determine what works best for your guy. Some men can orgasm from prostate play alone, but most prefer both prostate and penile stimulation for the best possible orgasm.
Types of Prostate Play
There are ton of different ways you can stimulate your guy’s prostate, including specialized vibrators, backdoor toys and even your pinky finger. Here are some of the more popular methods of prostate play.
Finger Play
When you’re just getting started with prostate stimulation, it’s best to stick with just a finger or two to give your guy time to adjust. Once you’ve found the prostate, you can experiment with different forms of massage. You could massage it with your fingers or gently knock on it to see what your guy likes best. Try incorporating a little prostate fun into your bedroom routine. Imagine the look on your guy’s face if you slip a finger up there while giving him head. Just be careful where he’s aiming – the shock might set him off and you don’t want to get an eyeful!
Prostate Toys
When you’re ready to move on from fingers, Adam & Eve offers a wide range of prostate toys. These toys are ergonomically shaped for a comfortable fit while making his prostate easy to find and even easier to please. More advanced users should try a prostate vibrator too. The extra stimulation will leave your guy erupting extra hard!
Advanced Prostate Play
If your guy's open minded and really into prostate play, you might want to try role reversal or pegging. This involves you slipping on a special harness that allows you to wear and use a dildo like a real penis. You can give your man a taste of his own medicine while teasing his prostate at the same time!
